Ever wondered how to really put off your readers through bad blog practices?
Here’s everything you need to know in a few simple steps to deter visitors to your site, and get yourself blacklisted from the blogosphere…
- Use expletives. They are even more offensive when spelt badly.
- Write a post that is so long someone who pops in to read it in their lunch hour is still trawling through pages three hours later.
- Fill your blog article with spelling errors. There is nothing quite as irritating as poor language in a blog article.
- Use your blog solely as a platform for selling to everyone, all the time.
- Don’t post up any relevant content, ever.
- Instead of writing about one industry and specialising in it, use your blog as a daily diary listing what you ate, how much weight you have lost, and what your dog got up to over the weekend.
- Steal all your content from someone whom you really respect online, and pass it off as your own.
- Pop up lots of animated gifs which take a long time to load and flash on each blog post.
- Use images which are so large they make internet explorer seize up and freeze.
- Re-post articles which you published last month, to save time and ease your workload.
- Build up a huge following through great material, and then suddenly stop posting for no reason just as your success is about to explode across the web.
- Write a racist, bigoted article which offends as many different demographics as possible.
- Use your blog articles to generate cash from associate sites, by tricking people in to clicking on embedded links to products.
- When you are angry, vent all of your frustration to your readers online, giving yourself a much-needed outlet for your temper.
- Be rude to specific people in your articles, naming names. It’s a great way of getting revenge for when people let you down.
- Put a big old ‘under construction’ sign on your blog homepage for visitors to the site.
- Make your font size so small that people have to squint to read it.
- Make your font size so big that they have to scrawl through page after page, just to catch up on a 200 word post.
- Employ a non-native English speaker to freelance for you, writing all of your articles in broken English.
- Promise your readers a great new update, and then forget to get back to them.
- Fill your article with broken links, or even better, links that have no reference to the article in any way.
- Get drunk and write completely irrelevant material which spills out your innermost secrets in to the blogosphere.
- Write a lengthy post running down all of your competitors and explaining why you are the best person to do business with.
- Publish a killer article that generates lots of feedback, and then don’t both responding to any of the comments.
- Use your ‘Re-tweet’ button to flood you Twitter account with links to your latest blog post. Lots.
- Hijack Facebook with requests for people to read your blog, at least three times a day so all your friends can’t miss the message.
- Say something rude, offensive or simply stupid. And then lose your temper when people respond negatively.
- Use your blog as a soapbox for your political beliefs.
- Put a really loud piece of music on your blog home page which blares out every time someone visits your site.
- Steal images from other people to escape paying royalties, and don’t give any credit for them.
Ever upset someone with one of your blog posts? How?
Please share your experiences in the comments below.