Thirty Ways To Upset Your Visitors With A Blog Post

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Ever wondered how to really put off your readers through bad blog practices?

Here’s everything you need to know in a few simple steps to deter visitors to your site, and get yourself blacklisted from the blogosphere…

  1. Use expletives. They are even more offensive when spelt badly.
  2. Write a post that is so long someone who pops in to read it in their lunch hour is still trawling through pages three hours later.
  3. Fill your blog article with spelling errors. There is nothing quite as irritating as poor language in a blog article.
  4. Use your blog solely as a platform for selling to everyone, all the time.
  5. Don’t post up any relevant content, ever.
  6. Instead of writing about one industry and specialising in it, use your blog as a daily diary listing what you ate, how much weight you have lost, and what your dog got up to over the weekend.
  7. Steal all your content from someone whom you really respect online, and pass it off as your own.
  8. Pop up lots of animated gifs which take a long time to load and flash on each blog post.
  9. Use images which are so large they make internet explorer seize up and freeze.
  10. Re-post articles which you published last month, to save time and ease your workload.
  11. Build up a huge following through great material, and then suddenly stop posting for no reason just as your success is about to explode across the web.
  12. Write a racist, bigoted article which offends as many different demographics as possible.
  13. Use your blog articles to generate cash from associate sites, by tricking people in to clicking on embedded links to products.
  14. When you are angry, vent all of your frustration to your readers online, giving yourself a much-needed outlet for your temper.
  15. Be rude to specific people in your articles, naming names. It’s a great way of getting revenge for when people let you down.
  16. Put a big old ‘under construction’ sign on your blog homepage for visitors to the site.
  17. Make your font size so small that people have to squint to read it.
  18. Make your font size so big that they have to scrawl through page after page, just to catch up on a 200 word post.
  19. Employ a non-native English speaker to freelance for you, writing all of your articles in broken English.
  20. Promise your readers a great new update, and then forget to get back to them.
  21. Fill your article with broken links, or even better, links that have no reference to the article in any way.
  22. Get drunk and write completely irrelevant material which spills out your innermost secrets in to the blogosphere.
  23. Write a lengthy post running down all of your competitors and explaining why you are the best person to do business with.
  24. Publish a killer article that generates lots of feedback, and then don’t both responding to any of the comments.
  25. Use your ‘Re-tweet’ button to flood you Twitter account with links to your latest blog post. Lots.
  26. Hijack Facebook with requests for people to read your blog, at least three times a day so all your friends can’t miss the message.
  27. Say something rude, offensive or simply stupid. And then lose your temper when people respond negatively.
  28. Use your blog as a soapbox for your political beliefs.
  29. Put a really loud piece of music on your blog home page which blares out every time someone visits your site.
  30. Steal images from other people to escape paying royalties, and don’t give any credit for them.

Job done!

Ever upset someone with one of your blog posts? How?

Please share your experiences in the comments below.

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18 Responses to Thirty Ways To Upset Your Visitors With A Blog Post

  1. Corinne Edwards
    Twitter:
    August 18, 2011 at 1:03 pm #

    Dear Andrew –

    The old rule of not talking about politics or religion applies here also.

    You very rarely influence anyone to change their opinion so you will end up preaching to your own choir.

    Anthony DeMello, the famed writer and philosophy used to say somethig like this –

    “Never try to teach a pig to sing. It is a waste of time and irritates the hell out of the pig.”
    Corinne Edwards recently posted..IDENTITY THEFT – Can it happen to you?My Profile

  2. Debbie
    Twitter:
    August 18, 2011 at 3:37 pm #

    Hi Andrew,

    Nice not-to-do-list. I don’t believe I have done any of these. I haven’t upset anyone with my blog post yet. You forgot to let us know if you have.
    Thank you for letting me know what I DON’T WANT TO DO!! It is appreciated.
    Blessing,
    Debbie
    Debbie recently posted..Communication Abuse: Are You Still Taking An Overdose?My Profile

  3. Dave Whitworth August 18, 2011 at 4:58 pm #

    “22. Get drunk and write completely irrelevant material which spills out your innermost secrets in to the blogosphere.”

    Getting drunk? Occasionally guilty.
    Spilling out innermost secrets? No chance.

    Did I tell you about the time I ………….

  4. Sherri--Being the Change I Wish to See
    Twitter:
    August 18, 2011 at 9:20 pm #

    Andrew,

    #28: I’m in big trouble then. My blog is mostly political. I try to make it balanced, and I stick with the facts, but I have a point of view and it is very apparent.

    Does that mean I close it and work harder on writing about math, science, lawn mowers, cartoons, home offices, and hurricanes?

    Help!
    Sherri
    Sherri–Being the Change I Wish to See recently posted..The Corporate States of AmericaMy Profile

  5. Evan August 19, 2011 at 1:12 am #

    So far the only way I have upset people is with my content. And people have expressed their disagreement and not just gone for flaming. So it has been a pretty good experience so far.

    I’m a self development blogger so can’t avoid spirituality really (and I do posts at Christmas and Easter that let people know I’m a – non-aligned – Christian) but do avoid criticising religions (other than my own). And I can’t really avoid politics in the broad sense some times – values that effect our culture.
    Evan recently posted..The Fear of Losing Ourselves Part 3 of 3My Profile

    • Andrew
      Twitter:
      August 23, 2011 at 7:33 pm #

      Evan,

      What happesn when you upset someone. How do you respond?

      Andrew
      Andrew recently posted..What You Should Do On Your Blog To Make More SalesMy Profile

      • Evan August 23, 2011 at 11:48 pm #

        Sometimes it is because they misunderstood in which case I clarify.

        Sometimes by giving the reasons for what I think or my experience with it.

        If they talk about their experience I agree with as much of it as I can. I try to find common ground.

        If it is a values clash I usually say why I think what I think and don’t agree with their approach. I try to make sure that we know what we are disagreeing about.

        I’m a self development blogger – it would be different with other topics I guess.
        Evan recently posted..Coming SoonMy Profile

  6. Barry Wheeler August 20, 2011 at 8:44 am #

    We’ve probably all broken a few of these at some point.

    The key is to remain focused and if we do make a mistake or do something that falls outside of what we know is right, deal with the consequences, be proactive and address it.

    Some people are forgiving.
    Barry Wheeler recently posted..Make Your Blog Load FasterMy Profile

  7. Ana
    Twitter:
    August 21, 2011 at 11:23 am #

    This is a great list, Andrew. Many newbies make the mistake of offending people and damaging their online reputation.
    Ana recently posted..White Hat Google Traffic Hack – How to Build Massive Back Links Without Appearing as a SpammerMy Profile

  8. Anna from Cosmetic Dentistry August 22, 2011 at 12:31 pm #

    Haha #22 “Get drunk and write completely irrelevant material which spills out your innermost secrets in to the blogosphere.” 😀
    I had a good laugh at this one! Cool list anyways!

  9. fred
    Twitter:
    August 24, 2011 at 3:37 am #

    LOL, hilarious list!

    >>>Put a big old ‘under construction’ sign on your blog homepage for visitors to the site.
    >>>Pop up lots of animated gifs which take a long time to load and flash on each blog post.

    I think I’m having flashbacks to Geocities….
    fred recently posted..How to Establish Better Boundaries in your WorkplaceMy Profile

  10. Ron Kirchner August 30, 2011 at 2:52 pm #

    Thanks for this true and sometimes funny thoughts.

    Even if its probably a good idea to be controversial on your blog its really bad for long-term success and keep returning visiors if you upset them!

    I also have a blog and probably from time to time I upset my readers with little mistakes I made because of a lack of concentration. I think thats o.k. and the readers will forgive you, if you mostly supply a lot of useful content.

    Thanks for reminding us of the little and larger mistakes we should try to avoid!

  11. Jimmy/Life Architect September 3, 2011 at 5:10 pm #

    Dear Andrew,

    Great of you to share this common mistakes bloggers make. For me, I guess the main problem now is that my post are typically too long. People will fall asleep reading right?

    Cheers
    Jimmy/Life Architect recently posted..Skills that will Change Your Life ForeverMy Profile

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