laughing_babyWe know there are the technical sides of a successful blog like targeting the right keywords, regular posting, SEO, backlinks, traffic, advertising, selling products or services that people want…and so on.

Let’s assume you have all those things in place. If you do, you have a great chance of being a successful blogger but…

…there is one thing that can ruin all your hard work and that’s…

Customer Service

When you run your own on-line business, you are accountable for the customer service side of the business.

That could be as simple as replying to the majority of your comments.

Or:

  • Providing some advice to a customer’s question
  • Making it easy for the customer to purchase your products and services
  • Responding to any customers requests

You need to be willing to go the extra mile when it comes to customer service…but sometimes it can be hard…

Here are a few funny true stories that were passed to me by one of our Income Blogging Guide Membership members, Jean Gogolin.

Jean started her brand new blog, The Complete Olive just a few weeks ago. She provides some beautiful recipes for “People Who Love Mediterranean Food”.

The Stories:

Samsung Electronics

Caller:             ‘Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?’

Operator:      ‘I’m sorry, sir, I don’t understand who you are talking about.’

Caller:             ‘On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and Telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the Number for Jack?’

Operator:      ‘I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.’

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RAC Motoring Services

Caller:             ‘Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia?’

Operator:      ‘Does the product name give you a clue?’

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Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in Europe)

‘If I register my car in France, and then take it to England, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?’

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Directory Enquiries

Caller:             ‘I’d like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please’

Operator:      ‘I’m sorry, there’s no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?’

Caller:             ‘Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the ‘B’ fell off.’

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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.

Operator:      ‘Woven? Are you sure?’

Caller:             ‘Yes. That’s what it says on the label — Woven in Scotland’

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Tech Support

Tech Support:            ‘I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.’

Customer:                    ‘OK.’

Tech Support:            ‘Did you get a pop-up menu?’

Customer:                    ‘No.’

Tech Support:            ‘OK . Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?’

Customer:                    ‘No.’

Tech Support:            ‘OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this Point?’

Customer:                    ‘Sure. You told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click’.’

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Tech Support:            ‘OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see the ‘OK’ button displayed?’

Customer:                    ‘Wow! How can you see my screen from there?’

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Caller:                            ‘I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?’

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This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired.

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee:

Operator:        ‘Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?’

Caller:               ‘Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.’

Operator:        ‘What sort of trouble?’

Caller:               ‘Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.’

Operator:        ‘Went away?’

Caller:               ‘They disappeared’

Operator:        ‘Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?’

Caller:               ‘Nothing.’

Operator:        ‘Nothing?’

Caller:               ‘It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.’

Operator:        ‘Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?’

Caller:               ‘How do I tell?’

Operator:        ‘Can you see the ‘C: prompt’ on the screen?’

Caller:               ‘What’s a sea-prompt?’

Operator:        ‘Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?’

Caller:               ‘There isn’t any cursor; I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.’

Operator:        ‘Does your monitor have a power indicator??’

Caller:               ‘What’s a monitor?’

Operator:        ‘It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on?’

Caller:               ‘I don’t know.’

Operator:        ‘Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?’

Caller:               ‘Yes, I think so.’

Operator:        ‘Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.’

Caller:               ‘Yes, it is.’

Operator:        ‘When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? ‘

Caller:               ‘No.’

Operator:        ‘Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.’

Caller:               ‘Okay, here it is.’

Operator:        ‘Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.’

Caller:               ‘I can’t reach.’

Operator:        ‘OK. Well, can you see if it is?’

Caller:               ‘No.’

Operator:        ‘Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?’

Caller:               ‘Well, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle – it’s because it’s dark.’

Operator:        ‘Dark?’

Caller:               ‘Yes – the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.’

Operator:        ‘Well, turn on the office light then.’

Caller:               ‘I can’t.’

Operator:        ‘No? Why not?’

Caller:               ‘Because there’s a power failure.’

Operator:        ‘A power … A power failure? Aha. Okay, we’ve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in?’

Caller:               ‘Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.’

Operator:        ‘Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.’

Caller:               ‘Really? Is it that bad?’

Operator:        ‘Yes, I’m afraid it is.’

Caller:               ‘Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?’

Operator:        ‘Tell them you’re too stupid to own a computer!’

How would you deal with such customers?

What funny customer services stories do you have to share?

Please share your views in the comments below.

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