From a personal perspective, I usually choose to comment or guest post on blogs that I like, that are well-written, and that provide informative material close to my own industry.

The thing is, it can be a challenge to pick out the best sites to either comment on or guest blog for, as there are so many available to choose from.

I’ve found a few tips out along the way to help you pick the best sites to get involved with, to bring you traffic and show your commitment to commenting.

Use Google to find the best sites out there

As a first port of call for hunting out sites of interest and value, Google is always the place to start. It is speedy and accurate, and brings you the hottest sites relating to your industry.

Depending on what you know about your niche, you can use Google for two things.

The first is simply to help you find sites in your industry by searching specifically for subjects related to your field of interest and expertise.

Secondly, you could search for things like “blogging” or “guest posts” to find sites that want your content, related to your own business.

Go on a niche browsing journey for your industry

Many sites in your field of business will make it clear that they accept blog posts on their site. Therefore, all you have to do is simply browse around the top sites in your niche and see which ones do.

Look for text like “write for us,” “become an author” and “submit your article”. These are all indications the site wants guest posts, so click on these buttons or send the blogger an email.

The chances are they will be delighted to forge a new contact, and you are well on your way to enhancing your network through regular comments and posts.

Use Google Blog Search, which does what it says on the tin

Google Blog Search, is quite obviously, a blog search engine. By using this tool you can easily find blogs that are accepting guest posts in your chosen area.

If you type something you may have typed into the regular Google search box such as “niche guest post” or “niche article by” then you should find some interesting results.

If you remove the niche section it’s possible you’ll find a lot of sites that offer guest posting, but few will be relevant. Take a few minutes to identify the best ones out there, and get commenting.

Get in touch with the authors of your favorite blogs…

Every blogger should know at least ten other writers in their community well enough to have built up a great online relationship of reciprocal help and support.

If you don’t, it’s worth starting your search as soon as possible.

Most guest blogging opportunities come from a direct request to one writer from another, with common or shared interests and aims.

It’s well worth using your existing relationships to offer to write for people, and submit quality content. It’s a win/win situation, as they get good content, and you raise your profile. Perfect!

Guest blogging and commenting is great to enhance your profile online. You get to show a new audience the kind of content you’re capable of writing, and broaden your exposure, opening yourself up to new opportunities.

How have you found blogs to comment or guest post on?

Please share your views in the comments below. Thanks.

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Post from: Blogging Guide

How Do I Know What Blogs To Comment And Guest Blog On?

But, of course, you will have to prepare your site so that it would look appealing and attractive to the sponsors you’re targeting.

Plus, you should have a large amount of traffic so that you can easily convince sponsors or advertisers to trust you to get them more sales.

So, here are ways and tips on how you can easily get a sponsor or advertiser for your blog.

22 Ways to Find Advertisers for Your Website by  Daniel Scocco

How to Find Advertisers for your website: The Ultimate Guide by Daniel Scocco

How to Get Advertisers or Sponsors for Your Website by Jeremy Schoemaker

5 Ways to Find Direct Advertisers for your Blog by Darren Rowse

Monetize your blog by directly Approaching Advertisers by HowToMakeMyBlog.com

Tips to Find Sponsors for your blog by Lax

How to Get Advertisers for your blog by Blog Traffic Exchange

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Post from: Blogging Guide

Blog Sponsors: How To Get Them

No matter how diligent you are about setting up your blog brilliantly, and then posting up killer posts to encourage people to keep dropping in, you won’t succeed as a blogger until people know where you are.

With the millions of blogs out there today, we need to be savvy when it comes to letting people know about you, your writing, and your services.

It may seem like an impossible task to pop your head above the parapet of mass blogging and get noticed.

However, there are a few things we can do to improve our chances of getting spotted and revisited when it comes to writing your blog.

First off, it’s worth bearing in mind that you are actually writing for two audiences – the Search engines, and your readers.

The trick is to satisfy both.

Search engines are programs that cannot see the page graphics or layout, with the job of indexing the page and identifying what is important on the page in order to put in the right spot on a search engine.

Visitors quickly scan pages for content, and are usually looking for something specific. That’s why good web-friendly content can be tricky to write.

How to grab the attention of the potential readers

Your main objective when writing for searchers is to persuade site visitors to take action on a page by highlighting the best features and selling the experience.

Keep your posts focused.

This is a personal opinion and others will disagree (but we are all different, aren’t we?):

It is better to write shorter posts than have long posts that your visitors need to scroll down and down and down.

Blog posts should be between 300 to 800 words long, as a rule of thumb.  If longer is needed, separate it into several posts linked together.

Since readers scan most blog posts, you may still want to break them up with headings so visitors can easily find specifically what they are looking for.

Make your headings bold or larger than your normal page font. You can also use bullets and numbering to make your pages more readable.

Also, make sure you edit your grammar and check for typos.

Here are some things to bear in mind:

• Keyword Strategy

When developing copy, concentrate on the primary keyword first, and then rotate usage of the other phrases throughout the page. Don’t try to optimize for more than three keyword phrases per page so that your results are focused. A great tool for this: Search Engine Optimization made easy

• Copy Length

Optimal page length for the search engines is 300 to 800 words.  This length allows repeated mention of keywords while maintaining focus.

• Meta tags and Titles

As a general rule, the title should be 60 characters long because that is the length of a Google search title. The meta description should be less than 165 characters long for the same reason.

• Deep Link

Hyperlinks to other pages within the site – or ‘deep links’ – help boost search-engine rankings, especially when the links contain full or partial keyword phrases. Using the Insights plugin makes this easy.

• Places for Key Word Phrases

Title, meta description, tags, headings, bold print, text links, first two paragraphs of text, last paragraph, and alt tags for images.

• Keyword Density

Strive for between 2% to 5% keyword density. Here is a free keyword density tool for existing pages: http://tools.seobook.com/general/keyword-density/

What do you do to get your blog posts noticed and read?

Please share your views in the comments below. Thanks.

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Post from: Blogging Guide

Blog Content: Make It Easy For People To Find

The problem is with terms like this, is that most of don’t know what the heck it means. Like Web 2.0. the term ’social software’ came into more common usage over the past few years, and it pays to keep abreast of new terminology to understand the part of the market we are operating in.

So – what’s the definition?

Social computing is commonly described as being ‘software that supports group interaction’.

This means that, rather than the traditional web sites and static content, you are opening up your marketing for two-way discussion, rather than just telling people about your product. By enabling services such as commenting and discussion on your blog, you’re working to promote Social computing.

This occurs by you inviting feedback, rather than just presenting your services to your existing and potential customers.

The discussion revolution

When you talk about ‘groupware’, people think of the hard-to-use, under-adopted Lotus Notes software category that was taken up by many corporate companies in the last decade.

In the mid-90s, groupware and knowledge management were used for software that represented the taylorization of knowledge work – the idea that you can automate knowledge work into pre-defined workflows and ‘capture the assets’ in people’s brains.

Often, the ideas sounded good to managers, but the tools did little for the people using them. There were fancy schemes intended to ‘incent participation’, because the tools didn’t do much for the people using them. Email had massive adoption, and more complex tools often gathered dust.

Meanwhile, the term ‘virtual community’ became associated with discredited ideas about cyberspace as an independent polity, and failed dotcom ideas about assembling community in the shadow of a mass-market brand such as forums on the Coca Cola site.

The birth of blogging

Several years ago, in the depths of the tech recession, there were signs of creative life in weblog and journal communities, conversation discovery with Daypop and then Technorati, the growth curve of Wikipedia, mobile games, photo and playlist sharing.

The liveliness was about the communities, and also about the culture of the tools being used.

Many of the attributes of social software -– hyperlinks for naming and reference, weblog conversation discovery, standards-based aggregation -– build on older forms. But the difference in scale, standardization, simplicity, and social incentives provided by web access turn a difference in degree to a difference in kind.

How social computing grew to be a mainstream part of our lives

These forms grew without being forced.

People naturally interact, and blogging is an instinctive response to being given a platform to showcase our products and personality. People are compelled to write blogs and journals to share, to contribute to Wikipedia and open source software projects for the joy of building things with other people.

There are some lessons about social patterns and social affordances that this generation of social software communities and tools get right, are worth understanding and building on.

Is ’social software’, which just now gaining wide acceptance, destined for the same trash heap of uselessness as groupware?

And, if so, what impact does the changing of this terminology have on the field of social software itself?

Only the future holds those answers.

What is your view of Social Computing, and how has it changed your business?

Let me know…please share your views in the comments below. Thanks.

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Post from: Blogging Guide

What The Heck Is Social Computing?

That is why Vlog Wordpress Themes are popping up.

These kind of themes allow you to post your very own personal videos or videos from other sites in an orderly and attractive fashion.

Choosing the right Vlog theme for your wordpress site is crucial and it is also important to make your site look great and pleasing to the eye.

So, for those looking for video wordpress themes out there, try these links. I hope they’ll be really helpful to you.

List of all Wordpress Video Themes by Wordpress Feed

Best Video WP Themes by WPHub

Free and Premium Wordpress Themes for Video Blogs by EvoHosting

The Best Wordpress Themes for Video and Photography byOrangeCast

6 Brilliant Wordpress Themes for Video Blogs or Vlogs by Shusaantu

Free Premium Photo Gallery & Video Wordpress Themes Templates by AnsBlog

Best Video Wordpress Themes by Premium Wordpress Themes

Best Premium Wordpress Video Themes by Best Wordpress Themes

5 Attractive Video Blogging Wordpress Themes by BloggingOT

Video Blog Themes by Best Blog Skins

None of the above links are affiliate links but there may be affiliate links within the individual blog posts.

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Post from: Blogging Guide

Wordpress Themes for Video Blogging

You will therefore have to promote it in order to get some traffic.  Not all promotional techniques are equal, however, so you need to determine what works the best for you.

Your goal is to receive as much quality, targeted traffic as possible.

Here is a list of the ultimate ways to promote your blog:

Article directories

Most webmasters and bloggers agree that article marketing is extremely helpful in bringing in targeted traffic.  It’s perhaps the most effective type of “bum” marketing.  Article directories rank very high in search engines, and you can get two or three backlinks for every single article you submit.  This not only serves in helping you get traffic to your blog, but it helps your blog’s ranking go up as well.

Forums and message boards

Most forums allow users to have a link in their signature line, which is great for getting visitors and backlinks.  Participate and contribute useful ideas and information at forums associated with your niche.  You can’t just spam, however, you need to make intelligent and thoughtful posts.  That way, readers will be interested in visiting your site to learn more.  If it’s a public forum, your posts will end up being indexed in Google, as well, which means your link will be exposed to more people.

Social networking and bookmarking

Social networking sites, such as Facebook and Twitter, are often overlooked by bloggers.  Make sure you don’t overlook or underestimate the importance of networking with other people; you can never have too many contacts on the internet.  Most of these sites have forums and chat rooms as well in which you can participate.  Once again, however, make sure you contribute quality information and never spam.

Social bookmarking sites are also very useful.  In fact, if you want your articles or videos to go viral, then your best bet is to promote through bookmarking sites.  These sites include Digg, StumbleUpon, Reddit, etc.  If your article or video goes viral, your blog hits will literally skyrocket overnight!

Other blogs

One way to promote your blog is through other blogs.  Post comments in other people’s blogs and leave a link to your own blog.  You especially need to leave your link in “do-follow” blogs so that the search engines will pick it up.  Your blog’s ranking will improve a bit if your do-follow comments are accepted by other bloggers.  Make sure you leave an insightful post and not just spam.  Return back and respond if someone (the blogger or other readers) responds to your comment.

All of these promotion techniques are free.  Some take a lot of work, but they’re definitely worth the time and effort you put into them.

Try doing all of these, if you can, in order to promote your blog as much as you can.  If you notice some methods work better than others, spend more time on those that work.  You need to be consistent and persistent in order to promote your blog successfully.

What’s your best method of promoting your blog?

Please share your views in the comments below. Thanks.

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Post from: Blogging Guide

Promote Your Blog Using These Ultimate Ways

From ultra-memorable short domain names to incredibly targeted shopping terms, the value of a good domain is well established, and any smart online marketer knows how important it is to find a domain name that sells your business for you.

For bloggers, things can be a little more complicated. Picking a name for your blog is often less about driving direct ‘buyer’ traffic and much more about summing up and explaining your content.

For some bloggers, personal branding comes into play too.

From self-named domain names to semi-random number and letter combinations, blog names can be incredibly varied.

These tips should help you pick a domain name for your blog. Whenever you build a blog, give some thought to your domain name, for it’s essentially your online calling card.

Check out these tips, get on the registrar, and get ready to pick a great domain name.

1: Your blog’s name should be content-relevant

If your blog is about tree frogs, let people know in the domain name. If your blog is about generating income, make it clear in the domain. If your blog is about anything and everything, pick a domain name that doesn’t make it seem uber-specific.

Focus on something that brands your blog effectively.

2: If you’re going to build a blog for personal branding, use your own name

If you perform a Google search for your name, what comes up? For most people it’s a few irrelevant results, possibly an old Friendster account, and a Facebook page.

Your blog is your online calling card, and without a great domain name it’s going to be hard for people to find you, at least in the early stages.

If you’re making a personal blog, use your own full name as the domain name. While it will cut down on direct SEO benefits for your content, it’ll work wonders for your own personal branding.

After all, what’s better than having your own website appear when a potential employer or client searches for your name? Believe me, they’ll be searching for you, so invest in a domain that shows off what you can offer.

3: Cheap top-tier names can save you time and money

Is the .com taken? Get the .net or the .org. Top-tier domains are all virtually the same for SEO benefits, so unless your website is going to be directly entered into the search bar often, it’s best to just go for the next best top-tier domain name. If you’re stuck between picking a $10.00 .net domain and a $2,000.00 .com, go for the .net every time.

#4: Always invest in “whois” protection, unless you’re planning to sell.

When you build a blog, you’re putting yourself at risk of copycat bloggers popping up straight away. Protect yourself from fraud and spam by hiding your domain registry details. Of course, if you’re planning on selling your domain name eventually, keeping your “whois” data on the domain itself is incredibly useful for finding buyers.

Getting the domain is a crucial first step.

For more info on picking the best domain names you can check out my video:

How to choose a Website Name

How did you choose your domain name?

Please share your tips in the comments below. Thanks.

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Post from: Blogging Guide

Build A Blog With The Best Domain Name

This is the first one and it simply outlines why a Link Building Campaign is important.

Some say, the Page Rank of your blog is the make or break factor for it.

They go on to say, the Page Rank or numeric value that Google assigns to a blog denotes its importance on the web and plays a deciding role in its visibility in the top search displays for the optimized keywords.

And an important factor of your Page Rank score is inbound links to your site.

As inbound links play a vital role in the calculation of the page rank of a site, one needs to understand the importance of link building for improving their page ranking and subsequently drawing more traffic.

Link building refers to the process of securing inbound links to your blog from various other websites and other online sources such as press releases, newsletters, social media, e-zine articles, blogs and directories

The more trusted or high-quality links a site has, the higher the Page Rank and that can improve the placement of your blog in the major search engines such as Google, Yahoo and MSN.

Why have a link building campaign?

With the information superhighway, as the Internet was once referred to by former US Vice President Al Gore, being revolutionized by the day, link building has become an integral part of every site’s online marketing strategy.

However, link building in itself is not enough, the trick is in generating quality inbound links that add value to one’s site.

Some of the main advantages of having a link building campaign  are:

• Proper link building can help the site get quality traffic from relevant sites, which in turn will help your site become a part of the core searches for the targeted keywords

• Having a number of high-quality inbound links improves the page ranking of a site as it is considered to be offering a valuable service to the reader.

• Link building not only helps in enhancing the visibility of a site, but also adds to its credibility if the inbound links come from popular or respectable sites.

• Link building is also an effective strategy to obtain a wider search engine exposure and to get indexed by them to secure a higher engine ranking.

• Link building helps save advertising cost and time as your having inbound links from well-known sites is an effective means of marketing one’s site in the online space.

The next post in this series will discuss ‘What makes a strong backlink?’

Do you have a Link Building Campaign?

How do you build your inbound links?

Please share your views in the comments below. Thanks

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Post from: Blogging Guide

Link Building Campaign: Why Is It Important

Typical of Gideon – he has listened and put in place an arrangement to make the Rapid Video Blogging course more affordable to many people.

Don’t forget you can still get our bonus, the Income Blogging Guide course for free if you purchase Rapid Video Blogging via our link.

Check out our bonus offer by clicking on this link:

Do NOT Buy Rapid Video Blogging Course

Plus Gideon has run and created a webinar to help answer questions about Rapid Video Blogging.

Here are just SOME of the many things Gideon covered inside the webinar:

• How to overcome the fear of being in front of a camera.

• A secret link where you can find my battle tested video export settings for best HQ video results on YouTube – this one is worth GOLD!

• How to record video interviews with Skype and another FREE tool.

• Where to find some of the BEST WordPress themes on the internet.

• A sneak peak inside the actual members area.

You can listen to the free webinar by going here: Rapid Video Blogging Webinar

And don’t forget about our special bonus: Do NOT Buy Rapid Video Blogging Course

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Post from: Blogging Guide

Video Blogging Course: Now Simple To Have

There are a lot of reasons why website owners sell their blogs.

One of these reasons is that they may not have enough time to care for their blogs as before.

Or they have new projects that are more promising than the blog itself.

Or it’s just not working out as expect.

Or for just the simple reason that they just want to sell it.

Now, you may be planning on selling your blog but you don’t know how?

Here are a collection of blog posts that tell us how and where to sell a blog.

20 Sites to Sell Your Blogs or Websites by S. Pradeep Kumar

7 Ways to End a Blog byDarren Rowse

Where and How Can I Sell My blog? by Daniel Scocco

How to Sell Startup Websites Easily: My Interview With Ian and Amy by FlipWebsites.com

What to Think About When You Sell Your Blog by John Chow

A Few Warnings When Selling Online Business Websites by Aaron Wall

Top Five sites Where You Can Sell Your Website by Sweta

Ever sold a blog? What’s your experience?

Please share your views in the comments below. Thanks.

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Post from: Blogging Guide

Planning To Sell Your Blog?

Can you remember a time before blogging?

Although it seems that the weblog has become as much as part of our lives as newspapers, they’ve only been around since 1994.

Before blogging became popular, digital communities took many forms, including Usenet, commercial online services such as GEnie, BiX and the early CompuServe, e-mail lists and Bulletin Board Systems (BBS).

In the 1990s, Internet forum software transformed the net by creating running conversations with ’threads’.

The first blog…

The modern blog evolved from the online diary, where people would keep a running account of their personal lives. This was practiced initially by journalists and diarists. Justin Hall, who began personal blogging in 1994 while a student at Swarthmore College, is generally recognised as one of the earliest bloggers.

Dave Winer’s Scripting News is also credited with being one of the oldest and longest running weblogs. Another early blog was Wearable Wireless Webcam, an online shared diary of a person’s personal life combining text, video, and pictures transmitted live from a wearable computer and EyeTap device to a web site in 1994.

Early blogs were simply manually updated components of common Web sites. However, the evolution of tools to facilitate the production and maintenance of Web articles posted in reverse chronological order made the publishing process feasible to a much larger, less technical, population.

After a slow start, blogging rapidly gained in popularity.

Blog usage spread during 1999 and the years following, being further popularised by the near-simultaneous arrival of the first hosted blog tools including Open Diary, LiveJournal and Blogger (launched in 1999 and purchased by Google in February 2003).*

Recipes for success

Nowadays, most successful businesses have a blog, and there is as wide a variety of subjects covered as there are humans and hobbies. The most popular blogs seem to focus on celebrity news, politics and technical reviews, primarily because these sites capture specific demographics of readers, and cater to their tastes.

Opening blogging up to all

The confessional blog came along and demonstrated that anyone, anywhere, can create a successful blog. Housewives and husbands, hobbyists and enthusiasts have all made an impact with their writing, even when ostensibly it would appear there would be little to say. Some of the funniest and most engaging blogs focus on everyday life, cataloguing the highlights and disasters of regular people doing regular things. While these journals will never hit the top spots for viewing popularity, they still generate a wide enough readership to create a great income.

Creating a niche

In a world where we are bombarded by blogs, how are we supposed to make an impact? The truth is, it is hard to build up a following and become successful through your blog.

However, it is still possible.

By writing interesting, engaging copy and paying attention to your customer requirements, you can still use the blog to both earn an income, and promote your services.

* Statistics and information for this entry has been unashamedly stolen from Wikipedia!

When did you start blogging? Please share your views in the comments below. Thanks.

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Post from: Blogging Guide

In The Beginning, There Was The Humble Weblog

No doubt you have been sent numerous emails and seen many blog posts trying to persuade you to buy Gideon’s Rapid Video Blogging course…

…BUT DON’T.

Not until you see what we have in store…

What we are saying is buy the course and if you buy it via our affiliate link, we will provide you with our complete Income Blogging Guide Course for FREE.

The real news…what others won’t say…

I’m not going to lie to you and say, “I know for a fact this brand new course, Rapid Video Blogging is brilliant.”

Why not?

Because if I did it would be a lie. I haven’t seen it. I haven’t experienced it.

BUT WHAT I WILL SAY IS:

We have experienced Gideon’s previous courses (including his previous video courses) and they are the best around…without doubt. He is the best in the business when it comes to making an income via videos.

Just go here and see what you get:

Rapid Video Blogging

You see, Gideon’s course is sharing what he does well…make an income via video blogging.

BUT WHAT YOU DON’T GET…

…is the step-by-step approach to building your blog or marketing your blog or building a list or getting traffic or outsourcing and the best support around…EVERYTHING our course does show you.

In fact, my business partner Joel (from BlogTechGuy), with whom I run the Income Blogging Guide Course, knows Gideon pretty well. Joel has known Gideon for about 2 years now and he still does work for him today.

You see, we contacted Gideon and he said, “My course doesn’t go into the detail of setting up the blog like your Income Blogging Guide course does.”

Gideon goes on to say, “Your course would be an excellent companion as a bonus for people.”

Check out what our course offers by going here:

http://www.incomebloggingguide.com/stepbystep/

But don’t buy our course…get it for free by grabbing Gideon’s course.

What Gideon is offering is a course we say you should buy but if you want someone to:

• Explain the step-by-step approach to blogging

• Invite you to live weekly teleconferences for all your blogging questions

• Provide you with access to a private forum

• Give you a WordPress Premium theme

…then buy Gideon’s course via our link and get our course for free.

How to claim your bonus

1. Join Rapid Video Blogging using this link only: Rapid Video Blogging

[By signing up with this affiliate link I do earn a commission.]

2. After buying Gideon’s course just send us your ClickBank receipt and we’ll get you hooked up to our course immediately. Email us at support@incomebloggingguide.com with a copy of your receipt and we will set you up with access within two days.

Please note: If you cancel your Rapid Video Blogging membership, it will also cancel your Income Blogging Guide membership.

P.S. We have the best complementary bonus around for Gideon’s course. Buy Gideon’s course via our link and get our Income Blogging Guide course for free.

Buy via this link: Rapid Video Blogging

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Post from: Blogging Guide

Do NOT Buy Rapid Video Blogging Course

Mine was pretty good – I decided to be ruthless and get rid of a lot of possessions I no longer need including numerous books.

Now, I’d like to give these books away to you.

The list is below with a link to Amazon so you can read more about the book.

To win…just tell me which ONE you would like in the comments.

This Friday I’ll randomly pick a winner for each book, contact you to get your address and ship them out to you (postage paid by me).

Some of the books are brand new, some used.

Also, please note the cover may not be the same as per what is shown on Amazon.

Here are the books:

Motivate to Win by Richard Denny

Positioning: The Battle for Your Mind By Al Ries

When Success is Not Enough by Adam Walker

The Brand Called You: The Ultimate Personal Branding Handbook to Transform Anyone into an Indispensable Brand by Peter Montoya

The Naked Coach: Business Coaching Made Simple by David Taylor

Millionaire Upgrade: Lessons in Success From Those Who Travel at the Sharp End of the Plane by Richard Parkes Cordock

The Joy Diet: 10 Steps to a Happier Life by Martha N. Beck

The Adversity Advantage: Turning Everyday Struggles into Everyday Greatness by Erik Weihenmayer and Paul Stoltz

The Rules of Life by Richard Templar

Personal Best: 10 lessons to help you achieve your true potential by Marc Woods

Customers For Life: How To Turn That One-Time Buyer Into a Lifetime Customer by Carl Sewell

The Six Value Medals: The Essential Tool for Success in the 21st Century by Edward De Bono

And if you don’t mind and have time, please Tweet or “share” this book giveaway post.

Thanks.

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Post from: Blogging Guide

Win A Book By Simply Commenting

Some of you may say yes, some may say no.

Some may be able to handle these negative comments with grace but some may not.

So, how does one really handle negative comments?

Go ahead and check out these blog posts:

The Day I was flamed at my blog (and 7 ways to handle flames with grace) by Darren Rowse

How to Handle Negative comments by Mark Goren

Ignore ‘em or embrace ‘em? How to handle negative blog comments by Mack Collier

How should your company handle negative blog comments by Mack Collier

How to handle criticism by Steve Errey

Handling negative comments in social Media and in blogs by Richelle Anderson

Dealing with negative comments on your blog by Michele Martin

When is Negative feedback too negative? by Bradley J. Moore

How to handle customer comments by Jesse Stanchak

Crisis: Dealing with negative comments online by Gini Dietrich

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Post from: Blogging Guide

How To Handle Negative Comments

And my latest guest post entitled, Little Things Bloggers Crave And Most Never Get has just been published as part of The “Bad Ass” SEO Guest Blogging Contest.

My post discusses the 11 actions to outsmart the average blogger

Now…would you help me?

As I say, this post is part of a contest so how do you feel about helping me win?

Helping is very simple…

Just click on this link, Little Things Bloggers Crave And Most Never Get and have a read. Hopefully, you’ll like it and if you do, please add a comment or a Tweet or share on your favourite social bookmarking site.

Here’s a little more on the ‘bad ass’ SEO contest:

BestTravelWebsites.com Best Travel Sites

ArrangeYourVacation.com Vacation Rentals

$150 Prize Sponsors

Daniel McGonagle Link Building

Candy Store

$100 Prize Sponsors

Alisa Bowman Marriage Advice

Internet Marketing Services

SEO Software

SEO Ottawa

Hesham Zebida Thesis Skins

Gerald Weber Houston SEO

Toni J Young Network Marketing Training

$50 Prize Sponsors

Whitney Segura Whitney Segura’s Internet Marketing Blog

James Brown James Brown

Raxa Design Houston web design

Eric Brantner Freelance Copywriter

The Servant Media Houston Business Development

Other prizes: Non-Cash Sponsors

Hostgator.com 1 year Business Hosting plan. Includes toll free phone number and SSL $179.40 value Business Web Hosting

David Harry A full years membership at SEO Dojo, a value of $250.SEO Training Dojo

Special thanks to the contest media partner: My Blog Guest. MyBlogGuest.com is the free guest post exchange community where users meet to exchange guest posts and network.

Post from: Blogging Guide

11 Ways To Outsmart The Average Blogger

I really hope the video makes you smile…like it did me.

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Post from: Blogging Guide

Having A Bad Day Then Just Smile

That's my new flatter stomach!

Most of you know my background:

• 30-year career in IT working for large corporate companies

• Starting my own online business 4 years ago

• 18 months ago left the corporate world to run my on-line business from home

• Last year, put on over 30 lbs in weight while working from home

That’s right…30 lbs.

Even though I danced ballroom and Latin twice a week, played badminton and went for daily walks.

I know I can’t believe it either!

It creeps up…the weight. You don’t really notice it – well I didn’t.

I knew some of my clothes no longer fitted me but it didn’t matter – I was in denial.

A few chocolate biscuits here, a hamburger there. You think, “Just one more…what can one more piece of cake do?”

Then I saw myself on video and boy, did I look overweight!

It wasn’t like looking in the mirror. The mirror stares back and you see what you want to see. It seemed different on video. In the mirror you seem just a face or a static body. In video, you see movement…you see how the shirt buttons are being stretched.

The video was the turning point.

I had to do something.

I had to take positive action.

I did.

I weighed myself and measured the size of my chest, stomach and arms.

I weighed 196 lbs.

My stomach was 39 inches.

My chest: 39 inches.

My arms/biceps: 15 inches.

For the past 12 weeks, I’ve been following an exercise plan.

Each day I exercise, I get up at 6am and drive to the gym. Complete the exercise, shower and back home by 8am – already for the working day ahead.

The first few days were exciting. Something new. Something different. The first week, I lost 4 lbs.

WOW!

That motivated me to go the second week.

The second week I lost 2 lbs.

By now, I had changed my eating habits as well. No more biscuits or cake. I was eating fruit for snacks and cooking with fresh ingredients.

My 12-week plan finished this weekend and overall I am pleased. I must admit, I did expect to lose more weight than I have but I did set some specific hard targets.

My current weight/measurements:

I weigh 175 lbs (lost 21 lbs).

Stomach: 35 inches (4 inches smaller).

Chest: 40 inches (1 inch bigger).

Arms/biceps: 16 inches (1 inch bigger).

Why am I telling you all this?

No matter what you want to change you have to take action…positive action.

Don’t get me wrong it has been hard work to get some shape and fitness back.

There have been many a time when I wanted to go back to sleep rather than get up at 6am.

There have been many times when I wanted ice cream or a big fat juicy hamburger.

It’s a huge challenge just like blogging.

During my 12-week fitness plan, I needed:

• To work hard. There is no quick and easy way to make money via blogging. It takes hard work. Just like you cannot take a pill and you suddenly lose 6 lbs…you cannot buy a $27 blogging e-book and expect to be earning thousands of dollars by this time next week.

• Targets. I had targets for weight loss, weight lifted, running times, etc. You need targets for your blogging business as well. Number of visitors, blog posts, backlinks, etc.

• A daily plan. I know exactly what I am going to do each day I enter that gym door. It’s planned out. Your blogging business should be also. What are you going to do today to hit your targets?

• Someone to turn to. When I need help on a particular exercise I asked the personal trainers at the gym. They were always willing to help. When you get stuck on your blogging business, make sure you have someone who you can ask. NEVER be afraid to ask.

So what now for my fitness plan?

I’m starting again. I start my 12-week training plan again…only this time I shall jog a bit faster. I shall lift heavier weights. I shall train harder.

What about you? What positive action are you going to take to make your blogging business even better?

Please share your comments below. Thanks.

P.S. Did you see the photo? That really is me. I had to have several pairs of trousers made smaller!

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Post from: Blogging Guide

Take The Stress Out Of Blogging

My office and outlook (I wish!)

Eighteen months ago, I left the 9-5 ( more like 8 – 8 ) and I’ve been working from home.

Working at home can have its ups and downs, so the best thing to do is to develop good habits, ways and an attitude in which to live a better, quality of life.

Go through these tips that I have been collating over the past few months and hopefully some will help you improve your quality in your life, while working from home.

1. Turn on the answering machine to avoid always getting up to answer the phone

2. Put your cell phone on silent mode to avoid being interrupted

3. You can also choose to turn off email alerts

4. Put a sign on your door, “Don’t Disturb”, so you are not disturbed

5. Don’t ever skip meals

6. Learn how to prepare easy-to cook but nutritious meals

7. Don’t forget your liquids, drink 8-10 glasses a day

8. Outsource if business tasks are overwhelming

9. Do breathing exercises when stressed out

10. Exercise regularly

11.  Don’t sit for hours on end – stretch every few hours

12.  Always maintain good sitting position when at the PC

13.  Clean your work station or work area

14.  Organize your work area

15.  Try to multi-task to get more work done

16.  Eat fruits, they cleanse the body

17.  Share household chores with family members

18.  Hire household help if finances would allow it

19.  Spend quality time with your family

20.  Find time to tuck your children in bed

21.  Read your children bedtime stories

22.  Set short-term goals because they can be achieved more easily and give you a confidence boost

23.  Know your priorities

24.  Reward yourself once in a while by taking a day off

25.  List things you want done for the day in order of priority and make sure they’re done

26.  Smile rather than frown

27.  Have a journal or a diary

28.  Set an alarm to avoid forgetting schedules or appointments

29.  Set breaks for the day and be sure to take them

30.  Get out of the house at least once a day

31.  Have a daily schedule and follow it

32.  Go for a walk (and take your dog if you have one!)

33.  Ride your bike

34.  Get in touch with your family often

35.  Don’t forget your friends

36.  Focus your mind on things that last like relationships, family and friends

37.  Don’t go on pleasing everyone, you can’t please everybody

38.  Laugh

39.  Recognize your dream and follow it

40.  Be optimistic

41.  Compliment three people everyday

42.  Be honest

43.  Live for the present, the past is already past and let the future worry for itself

44.  Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today

45.  Live everyday like it’s your last

46.  Put your best in everything you do

47.  Never tire of doing good

48.  Do everything without complaining or arguing

49.  Stop worrying

50.  Life is a journey, enjoy it

51.  Every moment is a teachable moment

52.  You can learn something from someone no matter how high or lowly that person is

53.  Practice meditation

54.  Be watchful of opportunities and grab them

55.  Understand others

56.  Develop healthy lifestyle habits

57.  Just live a simple life

58.  Get enough sleep

59.  Limit caffeine intake, caffeine keeps you from experiencing restful sleep

60.  Always think that you can do anything and that nothing is hard

61.  Don’t always say yes and learn to say no

62.  Read a good book

63.  Assert yourself and your ideas if need be

64.  Don’t just wait for things to happen but make things happen

65.  Don’t give up easily

66.  Try and try until you succeed

67.  Develop moral values

68.  Put love first in your heart

69.  Learn from your failures and don’t do it again

70.  If you can stretch out a helping hand, do so

71.  Don’t think that you’re better than others

72.  Listen to music

73.  Don’t watch too much television

74.  Treat yourself to a bubble bath

75.  Get a massage

76.  Maintain a garden

77.  Eat a balanced and healthy diet

78.  It is always better to give than to receive

79.  You give back, you don’t give up

80.  Learn to forgive and not be bitter

81.  Encourage discipline in yourself and also in others

82.  Do not turn on the computer if it’s not yet your time to work

83.  Eat meals with your family

84.  Do your housework first, then your job

85.  Always have a plan

86.  Take the time to listen

87.  Be dedicated

88.  Learn how to apologize

89.  Set a quiet time everyday for you to just sit in silence

90.  Do not let making a living prevent you from making a life

91.  Never look down on anybody unless you’re helping them up

92.  Be always willing to learn

93.  Always have patience

94.  Spend time with different ages of people

95.  Create a morning phrase like, “I want to make the most of today”

96.  It would be nice to be able to travel to places once in a while

97.  Do not be afraid to take risk

98.  Trust your own instinct

99.  Try new things

100. Get out of your comfort zone

101. Keep your promises

102. If you don’t have something good to say about a person then don’t talk

103. Accept criticism and learn from it

104. Never run out of passion

105. Always be ready for a surprise because life is full of surprises

106. Control your temper, control yourself

107. Learn to save for rainy days

108. Be environment friendly. Think green!

109. Money is not everything in life

110. Focus on happy moments in your life

111. Surround yourself with good friends

112. Set-up your very own working space at home to be able to concentrate better

113. Have a good, comfortable work chair

114. Let your family understand and respect your work area and your work schedule

115. If you have young kids, then sound canceling headphones might be a great idea

116. Strictly follow your work schedule

117. Always be cheerful

118. Create an environment in your workspace that is conducive for work

119. If you have school-age children, schedule your work when they are away

120. Always have a motivation

121. Get involved in extra-curricular activities

122. Join a group of people that have the same interests as you do

123. Think of realistic goals

124. Always know what your most important task is

125. Make adjustments in your work schedule when necessary

126. Manage time instead of letting time manage you

127. Arrangements of furniture in your work area should be in order

128. Everything that you need should be accessible

129. Do everything one step at a time and not all at once

130. Have time to pamper yourself

131. Use a laptop when necessary

132. Place plants in you work room or work area

133. Use caller ID to know which calls to avoid and which calls to take

134. Focus on work while on the internet and avoid logging in to other sites like Facebook or twitter

135. Review what you’ve accomplished for the day and adjust accordingly

136. Always keep a notepad and pen handy to be able to list ideas that come into your head

137. Be grateful that you’re working at home and not inside a cramped cubicle

138. Do the hardest work first

139. Not all your work needs to be perfect

140. Use technology for your advantage

141. If you have children, make sure to keep them occupied with educational toys for example

142. If both husband and wife work at home, then take turns. One can work and the other can watch over the children

143. Take care of your eyes, rest them if needed

144. Remove unnecessary things on your work desk

145. Make sure that your workplace looks attractive

146. Place a whiteboard on your work area

147. Have a calendar in your work area

148. Get yourself a mentor

149. Don’t give up easily

150. Learn to always move forward

151. Don’t think of doing work, think of it as doing what you really like

152. Train your kids to fix their things or their mess

153. Delegate household chores to other family members

154. Start early as they say, the early bird gets the early worm

155. Be ready for black-outs, have an extra battery pack or purchase a generator

156. Always maintain good posture

157. Always make sure that there are healthy snacks available

158. Know when to stop

159. Organize your files

160. Be confident with yourself

161. Surround yourself with your achievements like a trophy, plaque of appreciation and medals

162. Be knowledgeable of relaxation techniques that you can use when stressed

163. Get a stress ball

164. Get an ergonomic keyboard

165. Do what you want and don’t do what you don’t want to do

166. Overcome frustration with a positive outlook in life

167. Overcome boredom by not forgetting your social life

168. Empower yourself

169. Familiarize yourself with your definition of success

170. Manage your finances well

171. Don’t be shy to ask for help

172. Go out of your way to say thanks

173. Finally, at the end of the day, don’t forget to say a little prayer

Over to you…what little tips would you add?

Please share your thoughts in the comments below. Thanks.

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Post from: Blogging Guide

173 Tips For A Quality Life While Working From Home

Since installing the brand new plugin, I have increased my opt-ins by 205%.

This percentage is only over a small period of comparing the number of subscribers who signed up for my free guide 2 weeks prior to installing the plugin and 2 weeks since.

What Does Subscribers Magnet do?

In very simple terms, it takes your current email service provider (like Aweber) form code and allows you to very easily display the form in a number of strategic places on your blog.

As you can see I have the opt-in form displayed at:

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The top of my side bar

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The bottom of each blog post

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I also allow commenters to ‘Check the box to receive my FREE multi-media Blogging Guide’. By checking the box, they automatically opt-in.

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Plus for first time commenters, I send them a ‘thank you’ email and invite them to get my free guide.

Then last of all, I have the Footer-Ad pop-up that is displayed for new visitors only.

All these different positions (and many more) and ways to encourage your visitors to sign up can be added with a click of a button, once you have installed your form into the  Subscribers Magnet plugin.

One brilliant function of the plugin is that you can tell where and how your visitors are signing in by adding a unique identifier.

This is the percentage breakdown of my opt-ins:

Via the email I send to first-time commenters: 60%

Via the opt-in form after the blog post: 15%

Via the opt-in form in the side-bar: 8%

Via the check box within the comments area: 8%

Via the footer-ad pop-up: 1% (I only recently added this option).

You can see from the results, the email to first time visitors is the runaway winner (so far).

Is this to be expected?

To be honest I was surprised.

Most blog owners create the opt-in and think everybody who visits their blog will opt-in.

That isn’t so.

Visitors come to your blog to learn, to improve their knowledge…to get what they want, leave…and move onto the next blog.

Very often they are blind to your opt-in.

But with the email they receive when they make their first comment, you have their undivided attention and if worded correctly, can make them opt-in.

Of course, they have to comment first but with Subscribers Magnet, you have all these difference places and methods to get as many opt-ins as possible.

How could Subscribers Magnet be even better?

As you can see from the results above, my opt-ins are growing since installing the plugin but it could be even better and, hopefully, Pawan will improve the plugin further.

One ‘downfall’ with the plugin is that you still have to add the code from your email service provider like Aweber.

What I mean is that if you want your opt-in to have an image of your free giveaway or list some bullets, you have to code it.

It would be great if the plugin included some ‘opt-in’ templates like Pop-Up Domination.

In Summary

I have experienced a massive increase of 205% in my opt-ins as a result of using Subscribers Magnet.

Will you?

That really depends upon a number of factors (niche, value of free giveaway, wording, targeted visitors, etc) and I cannot say you will get the same results as me. You may experience a lot higher or a lot lower but the plugin does come with a 60-day money back guarantee – so I think it is worth a try…

…especially with the introductory launch price

Here’s my affiliate link: Subscribers Magnet

A few other FAQ’s from Pawan:

Q: “I get very little traffic to my blog. Will it work for me?”

Yes, of course. In fact, if you’ve already seen the PROOF video you have already heard about one of our beta testers who more than doubled her subscribers with only a handful of traffic.

Q: “Can Subscribers Magnet really double my email subscription rate?”

When you use the majority or all of the “hitting” points available in our plugin, then you should more than DOUBLE your email subscription rate. However, in business, as in life, there are no guarantees.

That’s why I highly recommend you TEST DRIVE the plugin for 60 days and see for yourself, instead of guessing. If you’re not fully thrilled and satisfied, you can have your money back, no questions asked!

Q: “I already have ‘MBP Optin Form Adder’ plugin. Do I need to deactivate this and delete to be able to use “subscriber Magnet”?

“Subscribers Magnet” will automatically detect the “optin form adder” plugin. You can click a button to import all the settings of optin form adder and disable the optin form adder plugin.

No need to use optin form adder plugin afterward!

Q: “I like your plugin. Looks like a well designed app. Is it possible to edit the form to accept Aweber / Getresponse auto responders or other custom autoresponders?

Yes, it can accept any autoresponder. You just copy & paste your autoresponder’s code and it will automatically detect the required setting for the most popular autoresponders.

If you have a custom autoresponder or a less popular solution, then our plugin will provide you with a simple WIZARD set-up to configure it with less hassle.

Q: “Can I customize the form with some cool graphics and designs?”

Yes. Go in to the optin form modification tab, and you can place images, html codes etc.. to customize it in any way you like. You can also customize it to look like the one in your homepage.

Q: “Aren’t the multiple hit points too many? Won’t the blog visitors get intimidated by them?”

The multiple hit points are not meant to fire all at once. The blog visitors will come across those hitting points one by one without ever overwhelming themselves.

For example, you can set the footer bar shown once only. You can make pop-in display in the 3rd visit only. Embedded comment can be made to show only when the visitor makes his/her second comment .. and so on .. and so on..

I’ve taken a great care while designing this plugin to make sure that it doesn’t hamper the user experience while at the same time making sure it dramatically increases the number of subscribers.

Also, there’s an accompanied guide called: “Multiple Hit Strategy For Rapid List Building Using MaxBlogPress Subscribers Magnet”.

It will guide you step by step how to properly configure all the hitting points for best user experience and maximum subscription rate.

Here’s my short video of me using the plugin: Is Your BLOG Having Low Opt-in rates?

Still Interested? Then get the plugin at the special introductory launch price: Subscribers Magnet

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Post from: Blogging Guide

Subscribers Magnet Gave Me A 205% Increase In Opt-ins

…Laurel and Hardy

When it comes to successful blogging…quite often confidence is not mentioned…but you will hear traits like persistence, perseverance, patience, and passion being mentioned.

And what about relationships?

And focus?

To be successful blogger, you need a lot of focus, a lot of confidence and those all-important relationships.

A good friend of mine is a guy called Peter Nicholas.

Peter has a background in psychology and is one of the UK’s leading confidence coaches. He is regularly featured as the confidence guru in UK television programmes such as Faking It and Would Like To Meet.

Peter’s work includes communication skills, motivation, creativity and innovation as well as personal impact coaching.

I’ve had the pleasure of interviewing Peter and here are a few extracts from the interview.

We cover sin binning, being present and building confidence.

Andrew: Peter, can you explain what sin binning means?

Peter: The ‘sin bin’ is the “compost heap” that you throw people into when you don’t want to have anything to do with them.

Andrew: In your head?

Peter: Yes, in your head.

For instance, somebody says something to you or writes a bad comment and they annoy you, and you think OK, that’s it. It’s a yellow card offence.

And then the next time they say or write something that annoys you, you just say, “get out of my life, that’s it. I’m not working with you, I can’t work with you.”

And you make the decision that you can’t work with that person and don’t want anything to do with them.

And then from then on, whatever they say will be translated to fit in with your picture of them, to fit in with that vision of them being out to get you or whatever.

Somebody might say, for instance, “I hear you’re having a tough time at the moment. I hope it works out.”

You’ll think, “They’re trying to undermine me again. They’re saying I can’t cope.”

You’ll translate whatever they say to fit in with that story.

Andrew: So, I’ve got someone in my sin bin. I know I shouldn’t have.

How do I get them out? I don’t want them in here anymore, because what you’ve just said is absolutely true, but I’ve got so many people in there I want to remove some of them. I don’t want them to be in my sin bin anymore.

Peter: We think we’re punishing people by putting them in there.

That’s the irony.

If you realize it takes an awful lot of energy to keep them there, you can save that energy and use it elsewhere.

Andrew: So how do I get them out of my sin bin?

Peter: The first thing is checking the reality of any situation because you’re making what they say mean something. You’re making every action that they’ve taken mean something.

Say, for instance, if they bumped into you in the corridor, you’ll probably assume and you’ll make it mean that they were trying to knock you over or they were doing it on purpose to annoy you.

They might not be.

So check what are you making things mean.

Secondly, try visualizations because they work.

If you visualize yourself having a positive interaction with that person that can really help. Every single time you go into a conversation with them, visualize it turning out positively.

Andrew: I assume the next stage will be to actually have that positive               conversation with them? Do I have to be the proactive one to remove them? Do I have to be the one who makes the first move?

Peter: I think we spend an awful lot of hours thinking, and those people              reading this will probably think, “Yeah, but they should say sorry first because they did this and they said that.”

You can wait all your life for that. The only way that any change happens is by you taking responsibility. That’s the only way anything happens, is when you start realizing that you’re the one that has to take responsibility for it.

If you don’t, if you continue to have the same conversations, nothing is going to change.

Eventually it may well be worth, say, having a conversation, saying, “I’ve had this attitude about you and it may not be right. I just want to clear it and try and get to the bottom of what’s going on.”

Actually have a really, really, really open honest conversation with them.

Andrew: That’s a big step.

Peter: That’s a huge step.

Andrew: Are people really going to do that?

Peter: A lot of people do.

Andrew: The people who want to make the change?

Peter: They want to make the difference, and they want to make the change in that relationship, and it’s often uncomfortable.

Do you have any blogging buddies (or ex blogging buddies in your ‘sin bin’)?

Can you remember why they are in there? How do you feel about making the next move to get them out?

Being a success at blogging means you need successful relationships.

Now we move onto “being present”.

Andrew: What does that mean, “being present”?

Peter: People often talk about charisma. They talk about they’re such a charismatic presenter.

I always quote Bill Clinton. He is a wonderful speaker. What he does magnificently when he’s talking to an audience is he is there for them. You can see he really focuses on sharing whatever he is speaking about with the audience.

Many of us spend time on conference calls, not listening. We are writing shopping lists or answering phones or sending texts.

We’re not present with the people we’re speaking to.

On the phone, people often spend their time speaking on the phone and they’ll be checking emails at the same time, so I’m just saying that’s not being present.

We know it when other people do it to us, but somehow we magically think that people don’t know when we do it to them…when we’re not present.

The power of just being utterly committed to the one piece of communication and the one person you’re in the room with is phenomenal.

Andrew: How can I improve my being present? How can I do that?

Peter: Make your choice to be present. Switch off your phones and you make a real determined conscious effort to get as much out of that conference call as you possibly can.

Most people sit in conference calls saying, “I could do without this,” and they go in with that “I can do without this” attitude.

Make your choice to maximize your time.

Do you attend conference calls? Do you focus 100% or are you thinking about dinner or what you have to do next?

Let’s move onto confidence…

Peter: One of the areas I spent a long, long time working in – and it still fascinates me – is the area of confidence.

How do you get people to be more confident?

If you can get people to be more confident, suddenly doors open up for them because they have self-belief to try new things. Try new behaviors. Expand their personality.

Andrew: Improve my confidence. What are you going to do to me?

Peter: I’d ask you to tap back into when you felt confident in the past. I would look at what knocks your confidence now and how can you avoid it? And use behavioural experiments.

Andrew: What does that mean – behavioral experiments?

Peter: It means rather than thinking you’ve got to change your whole                personality, it means that you can start developing simply by trying stuff… like trying on a “new coat”.

You think “ok, I’ll try that on, I’ll really try that for a day”.

You go out and try being that person for a day.

I qualified as a tennis coach and at one time I thought I was going to be a professional tennis coach because I love tennis.

And one of the things there is you can often transform the way somebody’s playing tennis by simply saying, “Who is your favorite tennis player?”

And they’ll say “Agassi” or something, and you say, “Great. What would that be like? Can you just be Agassi? Just pretend you’re Agassi for a bit?”

And you just play tennis with them. I mean, their tennis will sometimes transform simply because they’re thinking of it being somebody else: they’re trying on that new behaviour.

That can be highly effective.

In a similar way, you can do that with confidence.

Think of someone you know who is really confident. How do they behave?

You might say, “They would probably be a bit more like this, and a bit more like that.”

Now we say, “Great, do you want to try being like them the next time you want to be more confident…just pretend you are that person”

Andrew: And you can do that with any personal trait? Pretend to be someone else.

Peter: Yes, yes you could. And you could just try that and you could do that

Andrew: Yeah… and take on some of their confidence. So let’s make up a situation.

Peter: Yes.

Andrew: I have been made redundant six months ago and I’ve lost a lot of confidence. What should I do?

Peter: There are a few exercises. One, I always keep a journal by the bed, and in this journal I always write down aspirations, “I wants” — just like you write your shopping list.

You write a list of “I want.”

“I want to have another job.”

“I want my job to be like this.”

And you clearly write it down.

You can also do exercises for two years time – where do you want to be?

How do you want to be?

So you start putting your thoughts out there: that’s the first thing.

The second thing is to become your best coach.

You don’t need a personal coach to work with you: you are your best coach.

So start coaching yourself, and coaching yourself as if you are coaching someone else.

So it might well be you haven’t worked for a while, and you’re having trouble with your confidence taking a knock because of interviews, that you see it as a numbers game to start with.

That you manage to go into each interview without that sense of desperation of “I’ve got to get it.”

Even though you might be desperate to have the job… it’s like a desperate salesman.

If you go in with that desperation it’s going to turn people off. So going in with that sense of “you’re not desperate to get it.” You can go in, and you go “I either get it, or

I don’t get it. If I don’t get it, it’s not the end of the world.”

And you become unattached to that desperation.

That’s very useful.

In terms of coaching yourself, you can see it just as a numbers game. Your time will come, and what can you learn from each interview.

So rather than going away and doing a post mortem on it, and beating yourself up for the way it didn’t go, you say, “OK, what can I learn from it?”

And that’s the only question you ask yourself: “What can I learn from that interview?”

Great.

“How can I apply it next time?”

And you keep on moving on, rather than, “Oh, damn… I should have answered that.”

And you save the energy, so you keep energy moving forward, that momentum moving forward.

The other thing is to realize a couple exercises:

The little permissions game I play, which is every single day.

I give myself permission to be – and you write it down – I give myself permission to be powerful, confident, dynamic, influential, whatever it is, and you just get writing those down every single morning.

Another little exercise, “I am…”

Write the words, “I am” down, and add to it.

“I am powerful”

“I am employable”

So you go with a sense of contentment…with the status quo as it is at the moment which is a much better point to go into rather than that sense of desperation.

Andrew: I understand exactly what you’re saying, I do. How do people overcome the fact that I find self-coaching quite hard, it’s having that discipline.

It’s almost like a personal trainer. I bought my gym membership, but I don’t go. But if I had a personal trainer who made me go every day, or twice a day, or every other day, then I would go.

But I need that push.

And that external coach would give me that push.

How do I push myself to be, to self-coach me?

Peter: For me, it’s like selling. You’ve got to realize what’s in it for you, what’s the benefits.

Andrew: So seeing that outcome.

Peter: Seeing the outcome – that’s your driver, that’s where I want to get to.

Andrew: And having that nice clear picture of what you want to see as the outcome.

Peter: Unless it is clear – you won’t be committed.

Andrew: Right, and that’s the drive.

Peter: Yeah. For me it is, yeah.

Andrew: The self-drive, the personal drive. Right, that makes clear sense.

Peter: It’s also about realizing that if you are committed to something…if I’m committed to going to the gym three times a week, and one week I don’t go, I only go twice, it doesn’t mean that I failed.

It just means that I’ve only been once, twice to the gym.

It doesn’t mean that commitment stops.

It’s just finding a way of keeping hold of the commitment to something, even though you might have failed on your first commitment.

What has helped your confidence grow?

So over to you…what do you think about ‘sin binning, ‘being present’ and building confidence’?

Please share your views in the comments below. Thanks.

Image by photomequickbooth

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